I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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