I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
