just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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