they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
