We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
