so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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