I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
