i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
