i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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