Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
