Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
