My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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