tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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