Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My liver just broke up with me...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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