Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
