Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
