Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
