Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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