Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
