He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
