I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize