So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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