Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
