Sry I called you an 8
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize