He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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