He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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