she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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