I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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