I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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