and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well you can't waste a boner
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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