Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
