Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
