I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
