Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
