Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize