I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
