Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
