so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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