Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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