lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
