Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize