I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
