got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
