Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
