Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
