I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
