Porn is love you can see.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
