Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
