does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I could fuck to npr.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
