where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
