suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
