So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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