i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i think i just lost a toe
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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