wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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