No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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