quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A bitchslap is in order.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
