Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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