Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I wear drunk well.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
