her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
