Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
