i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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