I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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