i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
