no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
