haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
And then he peed in my hair
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