why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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