her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
