I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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