he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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